


Brain Mush

by miss_nettles_wife



Category: Eerie Indiana
Genre: (nothing graphic) - Freeform, Alien Biology, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, F/M, Fear of Heights, Gen, Television Watching, Weirdness, heights, set in the 2000s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 02:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12902421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_nettles_wife/pseuds/miss_nettles_wife
Summary: When Marshall's eyes suddenly become glued to the television, it falls on his trusted associates (and girlfriend) to save him.





	Brain Mush

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for over three months now, close to four, and at the risk of sounding foolish quite pleased with how it came out! I've never written a case fic before, so I hope it came out okay!

I’m sure I’m not the first person to tell you that if you watch too much television your brain will melt. Or that you’ll get square eyes. Adults seem convinced that that television is going to kill you, or at least stop you playing outside, but hanging out in front of a television is one of the ways my generation gets its kicks. I just wish someone had told me that in Eerie, you don’t watch television. Television watches you.

…

“Mars, I love you.” Janet began, moving on the couch so that her head was more comfortably resting on his shoulder.

“Well I would like to hope so or things would be very awkward around here,” Marshall replied, not taking his eyes off the tv.

“As I was saying. Mars, I love you, and I know this investigation is important to you, but the infomercial channel isn’t going anywhere, and they’re playing a movie marathon on channel two.”  Marshall responded with a grunt and shifted the blanket up over them a little closer. Janet sighed and looked up at him. “Marshall you said tonight was going to be a date night, and no offense, there is nothing romantic about watching-“

“Cyclone Mattress”

“Cyclone Mattress infomercial.” There was nothing romantic at all about seeing what Tony Hemingway was selling this week, that was for certain.  Marshall didn’t even twitch. They sat for another few minutes, while Janet tried to remember what was meant to come on after ‘The Goonies’ finished. She had tried to memorize the list earlier in the day but hadn’t been able to. She was pretty sure it was ‘The Blob’ or something else equally as stupid. Something Marshall might like. It wasn’t especially unusual for Mars to get wrapped up in a case, that happened all the time, but it was unusual for him to ignore her.

 Janet sat up and grabbed the bowl of popcorn she had popped for the movies. Back when she thought they were actually going to watch some movies. Marshall had framed this as a date night in, where they could have a drink and watch classic movies. The drinks are on the table, Janet’s empty lemonade, and Marshall’s untouched beer. With a grumble, she settled the bowl in her lap.  It was cold and sort of stale to the taste, given that it’s been on the table for a little over two hours now. She grabbed a handful and started to eat it one piece at a time. Marshall reached into the bowl and grabbed a handful. Not looking at the bowl meant that he ended up spilling popcorn all over Janet, the lounge, and the blanket.

 

“Marshall!” She exclaimed, annoyed. “Look what you’ve done!”

“Can’t, watching,” Marshall replied. Janet looked down at the popcorn that she would no doubt be fishing out of the couch for years. Frustrated, Janet stood up and put the bowl on the table.

“I’m going to bed.” She announced.

“Good night,” Marshall replied, eyes glued to the screen.  “Can you bring me the phone? I might what to buy something.” Janet stared at him for a moment, before going to the kitchen table, grabbing the brick Marshall pretended was his phone and dropped it into his lap.

“Good night.” She repeated, frustrated. 

She couldn’t sleep because the light from the television was visible under the bedroom door.

…

Janet woke up late the following morning and didn’t have time to sort things out with Marshall before she had to get to her job. Janet’s job, as such, was more of a stepping stone, that was how she saw it. Being a receptionist had never been high on her to do list but the pay was good and the work wasn’t too hard. Really pay was probably the most important thing. Mars loved his job as a professional ghostbuster, but the money was unreliable. Sometimes he’d have a good month, then he’d have two or three bad ones. Janet didn’t mind supplementing their income too much, she hoped to pursue some of her actual interests sooner rather than later though.

She dreamed about being some kind of author, though she had no idea what she wanted to write about. Just that she didn’t want to write about it in Eerie, Indiana. Maybe she’d write a childrens book, or a series of short horror stories. Maybe she’d finally use her journalism degree and write for a paper. Any one of those things would be fine by her. But that wasn’t going to be for some time yet she supposed, as she opened the date planner on her computer. Head of the Eerieland marketing was busier than one might expect him to be, given that his park was failing dismally. She’d been there with Marshall a couple of times and the place was utterly miserable.

She scheduled another meeting with some shady character called ‘The Donald’ (Stupid name) into the man’s calendar. She spent most of her morning clicking through paperwork, and responding to emails. After meeting up with a young lady called Mattie she’d met at university for lunch, she settled in for a long afternoon of sorting out invoices.

Out of the blue, she was shocked by her phone ringing loudly. Her actual mobile phone, not her work phone.  She fished the Blackberry out of her handbag and answered.

“This is Janet Donner.”

“Hey, it’s just me.” Simon Holmes.

“What’s up?”

“Where’s Marshall at today?”

“Uh, he should be at work, why?”

“He’s not here.”

“What do you mean here’s not there?”

“He didn’t come in. Did you see him this morning?”

“No, I was in a hurry.”  There is a pause. “Simon if something weird is going on I want to know about it.”

“Well…”

“Simon!”

“I’ve had some weird reports coming in all day.”

“Spit it out!”

“Listen you need to get home.”

“I’m working.”

“Leave work.”

“It’ll take me an hour on the bus.”

“I’ll send Dash to get you.”

“Simon what’s happening?”

“Janet I’ll see you at home, Dash will pick you up in like thirty minutes.”  And he hung up. Janet put her phone in her bag and looked at her desktop again. She liked Simon. He was a good kid, for the most part. But just like Marshall, he didn’t appear to understand that she wasn’t self employeed, and couldn’t just abandon her work when it suited them. She picked up the phone and put a call to her boss to convince him of her family emergency.

…

It's not that Janet doesn’t like Dash X. Well, it sort of is. Janet is a lot less forgiving than Marshall ever was. As far as she was concerned, it was really only a matter of time until he did something to hurt Marshall again. Why exactly he’d been given as many chances as he had was beyond her. But he was amusing, and for the most part, they didn’t have anything to do with one another. Mostly because he was weird and Janet, unlike Marshall, saw something weird and went the other way. Marshall tended to head straight for weird things, neck first into the axe.

Also, Janet has already had two near death experiences in a car this week (Thanks Melaine), and she didn’t desire a third. As far as she knew, Dash had never been taught to drive a car in any formal fashion, and it was evident in the way that he just kind of made the rules up as he went along. But if there was something up with Mars, then she could put her fear of death aside for the fifteen-minute drive home.

She made up her note and submitted it to the boss, citing a sudden family emergency and was out the door in forty-five minutes. By the time she was on the pavement pulling Marshall’s denim jacket around her shoulders, Dash was waiting for her. It wasn’t fair to ask him to ride shotgun in his own car, so she slid into the passenger seat and strapped in.

“What took you?” He asked, as they sped off.

“I’m not self-employed.” She said, as they turned a corner. She reached up with one hand to grab the handle and hold on for dear life. “Can you tell me exactly what’s going on because Simon was very evasive.” Dash doesn’t reply right away, which spikes Janet’s blood pressure. He doesn’t even have an insult for her.

“Have you noticed anything…Odd about his behavior in the last day or so?”

“Well. He spent the whole night watching infomercials.”

“Infomercials?”

“Yeah. Eerie twenty-three. Plays all infomercials all the time. Good for insomnia, not much else.”

“And does he often watch Eerie Twenty-Three?”

“Not as far as I know. Mostly he just watched badly subbed kung foo movies if he can’t sleep.” And that wasn’t very often. Janet was the one who couldn’t sleep, not him.

“So, this was the first time?”

“He said it was for an investigation, and we could swap over at nine thirty to watch The Goonies on channel Two.”

“And he didn’t?”

“No, he spilled popcorn on everything and asked for the phone.”

“And did you think that was unusual.”

“Yes. But I thought that he was just wrapped up in his- Why are you grilling me, exactly? What’s happening to _my_ boyfriend?” She demanded. 

Dash took his eyes off the road for a split second to look at her. His eyes a dark, they remind her of eight balls. 

“We think that Sli…Marshall might be quite literally glued to the television.”

“What?”

“Almost everyone watching Eerie Twenty-Three, the movie marathon on Two and the Spanish channel last night has been unable to move from the television, and ordering anything that catches their fancy.”

“What?”

Marshall solved weirdness, he didn’t get affected by it. Okay he did sometimes but he hadn’t recently. She doesn’t like the idea that he’s been affected by something. Especially if it’s something that she cannot fix.

“I was watching Eerie Twenty Three last night.” Janet pointed out, “And I’m not frozen.”

“No, you aren’t.” Dash said, turning another corner and skidding to a halt at the red lights. He must have to change his tires pretty often if he does this al the time, she thought, as Dash tried to balance the clutch.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” He admitted. Janet sighed and put her face in her hands for several moments. “Okay. What do you know?”

“Well it’s town wide, no gender or race preference. Do you and Marshall have a joint bank account?”

“Uh, kind of.”

“You might want to check it, there’s been reports of people buying all kinds of junk.” Janet nodded affirmative, and then looked back to the road.

“Do you have any theories?”

“Not yet. Don’t suppose Marshall shared any ideas with you?”

“No, he didn’t. He just thought it was. Well. Weird. Unusual. Odd, even.”

“And you didn’t?”

“I don’t make a point of watching infomercials.”  Dash turned another corner, and doesn’t talk again until they pulled up at Marshall and Janet’s place. It was a tiny little place, with only one bedroom, but it was home enough.

Moving back to Eerie had never been high on Janet’s list of priorities. She wanted to see the world. But she wanted to see the world with Marshall who wanted to come back to Eerie. So, she put it aside and figured they could save up the money. But that wasn’t really happening. Marshall was broke more often than not, with the minimal profits of the business split three ways. He was hopeful business would pick up. She was hopeful for him.

One thing she was particular about was keeping their place clean. She’d seen Marshall’s dorm, that place was a disaster zone. Their cutlery was shiny, none of their plates were chipped and every surface was free from dust. Deep down, she knew it was a bit to impress Marshall’s mother. Not that Marylin had ever been anything other than kind and supportive. She just wanted to make a good impression. And having a clean, livable home was its own reward anyway.

Marshall was exactly where she left him on the couch, slouched back and watching television. Janet felt  a twist in her gut. Was there something she could have done? She prided herself in making sure Marshall was safe from weirdness in their home…But now? She can’t even say that. Marshall has escaped situations twice as slippery as this one, sometimes even with Janet tagging along. But being able to see and not help makes it worse somehow.

Simon is spread out on their kitchen bench, books spread out in front of him, glasses pushed high up his nose. Janet didn’t know what to do, so she put the kettle on. Dash X joined Simon looking very much like he belonged there. She likes Simon, they both have a common goal in ensuring that Marshall doesn’t get himself killed in his attempts to understand the weird wild world they lived in.

“Do you know what’s happening?” She asked, turning on the stove and setting the red metal kettle on the hob.

“Not yet.” Simon admitted, “Were you watching it with him?”

“I was.” She said, “But why wasn’t I affected?”

“I don’t know.” Simon said, writing something in his notepad. Janet opened a cupboard and took out a packet of Oreo cookies. She put them down on the table, they were Simon’s favourite. Simon reached out, took two and stuffed one into his mouth. Janet picked up one of his notebooks and ran her eyes over the list.

“Is this all the people who were affected?”

“Yep.” Dash said, looking over Simon’s shoulder at his book. She read through the list.

“Do you know any of them?” Dash asked.

“I know most of these people.” She said, “There isn’t any preference in race or gender.” 

“I feared as much.” Simon sighed, and sat back in his chair, rubbing his eyes. “Can you see anything in common?”  Janet tore the page out of the notepad and started to write down her own notes.

“Well, none of them are over forty. None of them have any serious illnesses. The ones I know are perfectly healthy individuals.”  Simon sighed and flipped a page in his book. Janet paced nervously back and forth for a moment, before heading for the door.

“I’m going to go put on more comfortable clothes then.”  She decided, and wandered down the hall to the room she shared with Marshall.

She stripped out of her corporate clothes slowly, and shuffled into a pair of ratty jeans and a Madonna t-shirt she’d inherited from Syndi. She chucked her blouse, skirt and stockings into the hamper, and gathered up the clothes Marshall had left on the floor last time he was in here too. She contemplated how far gone she must be if even his dirty laundry doesn’t offend her? She proceeded to then flop back onto the bed.

What was she going to do? She didn’t know squat about how to fix weirdness. She didn’t even know if this weirdness was fixable. And what would she do if they couldn’t fix it? Spend her life bringing food to the couch so he didn’t starve? Okay maybe she was getting ahead of herself, she needed to believe in Dash and Simon.

 The kettle went off, but someone else got it.

After another couple of moments, she got up, and walked to the front of the house, ready to help where she could. Simon was still looking at his book, and Dash was drinking something out of a cup. That something appeared to be straight hot water. Fuckin weirdo. Dash looked up at her, and then back to his book, then to her.

“What?” She asked, looking down at her clothes. They were clean, she was wearing a bra, she didn’t smell bad. “Something on my shirt?”

“No.”  Dash said, “That is a lovely pair of earrings you’re wearing though.” Janet reached up and gently ran her fingers along the small earrings. The same pair she’d been wearing since… “They were a gift from Marshall.”  An unusual one, and she’d questioned where he’d found the money to buy something so nice, but according to Marshall, they’d come from a little store downtown and they weren’t cursed, not at all; not even a little.  Simon looked up.

“Can I see them?” Janet tugged the rubber stopper off the back of the posts, and handed them to Simon, who turned them over in his hands.

“Interesting.”

“What’s interesting? They’re just cheap earrings.” She pointed out. If it were up to her, she’d be wearing pretty much any other pair of earrings that she owned that were more exciting, but her last encounter with weird had not been exactly kind to her ears, and frankly wearing heavy earrings sounded like her idea of torture so she just stuck to the small lightweight fake pearl cluster that Marshall had given her.

“They aren’t cursed.” Simon announced.

“Okay…” Janet said, “Marshall assured me that they weren’t.”

“They do appear to be enchanted though.” Simon said, passing them back to her. “I’d keep wearing them.”

“Do you know what kind of enchantment?” Janet asked, hesitating.

“No.” Simon replied, “But I could hazard a guess and say it’s some kind of protection thing.”

“Could be why the tv didn’t turn your brain to mush.” Dash said, thoughtfully.

“Maybe.” Simon agreed. 

“Well, why didn’t it get you guys? Well, Simon. I think it’s safe to assume that it wouldn’t effect Dash, but you?”

“Well. I’m a minor?” Simon said, finally.

“Technically.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Simon replied, “I’m under twenty one. Minor. We need to be worrying about Marshall.”

 

“Okay, so, we give Marshall my earrings.” Janet said.

“He’s already affected.” Simon sighed, “I doubt it would help.” Janet walked around to the kettle, and took a little jar of instant coffee out of the cupboard. She filled the bottom the cup with it, and then followed that with water and milk. On the kitchen counter, a walkie talkie started talking. Janet picked it up, the other one was in the living room, so it could only be a message from Marshall.

“When are we having dinner?”

“When you make it. It’s chilli night.”

“I’m busy tonight, though.”

“Doing what, watching television?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine. I’ll make you a sandwhich then.”

“You make him sandwhiches?” Dash asked, after a moment.

“You know how he gets.” Janet dismissed. She’d rather just make him something and know he remembered to eat rather than just hope he remembered. She wasn’t his mother, just invested in his wellbeing. They all looked at one another, none of them knowing what to do next. Marshall would have known. Damn it.

“I’ll keep reading.” Simon decided. “You two should have a look around the place for something in the house causing it.”

“Marshall keeps most of his weird stuff in his desk.” Janet said, deciding that this was the best plan they had for right now.

Marshall also kept his desk closed and locked, which was only a problem if you didn’t have a key.  Janet knelt down, and peeled up a corner of carpet.

“What are you doing?” Dash asked, as she stood up again.

“Breaking and entering.” Janet replied, revealing a key.

“I thought he wore that around his neck.”

“No, that’s the one for the locker at his parents place.”

“Okay so where does he keep the key for this one?”

“On his key ring. I had this one made behind his back.” She said, opening the desk as quietly as she could. The desk is full of stuff, but nothing stands out to her. Dash picked up a small toy penguin, and then flung it away when ice began to crawl up his arm.

“Yeah, it does that.” Janet said, grabbing a handful of disks off the shelf.

“Where did it come from?”

“A fan of his website sent it in.” Dash frowned deeply.

“Marshall has a website?”

“Yeah, he’s working on it all the time.”

“He didn’t tell me that.” Dash murmured, as Janet turned on the computer. Janet rolled her eyes and started going through the disks she was holding. All of them had scrawled labels in blue or red marker.

‘J+M pics ’04’, ‘Scooby Doo: Legend of the Glowing Bug Man’, ‘Stranger Things (1)’, ‘Age Of Empires’, ‘-X, S, M ‘04’, ‘work’, ‘mixtape 4 -X’ ‘porn, janet don’t watch’, ‘wedding ’95’ and a few more after that. Mostly normal thin-wait one fuckin second.

“What do you reckon is on here?” She asked, thrusting the porn disk in Dash’s face. Dash was busy looking in some day planners all carefully categorized from year to year.

“Uh, porn?” Dash offered, taking the disk from her and turning it over in his hands.

“Somehow, I don’t think he’d be telling me if a disk was full of dirty pictures.” Janet observed, wiggling the mouse with one hand.

“Simon!” She called out, “Don’t use the phone, I’m about to turn on the internet!”

“Okay!” Simon called back, as Janet hit the button on the front of the dial up. The thing started screaming at them. She didn’t know if this was just an Eerie thing, or if all internet thing-os sounded like they were in agony.

“So do you have a computer?” Dash asked, as Janet kept flipping through disks.

“No, why?”

“You seem to know what you’re doing.”

“I make excel spreadsheets and phone calls for a living so you might hope I know what I’m doing.” She commented, “But if I ever need to use one outside of work, then I just use Marshalls.”

“And he just lets you?”

“Uh…Yeah?” Janet said, wiggling her mouse again and double clicking the Internet Explorer icon. While the page loaded, Janet stuck the disk into the computer.

“Are you sure you should be looking at that?”

“Why, Dash X, are you turning down an opportunity to find something to humiliate Marshall Teller?”

“Well, when you put it like that.”  The webpage loaded, Marshall has his email set as his homepage. Loser.

“Don’t see anything out of the ordinary.” She said, scrolling down. Mostly business things, a few spam emails, and something in a language she was sure wasn’t even human. As a general rule, she didn’t read anything with glowing text. She opened a window to Marshall’s website ‘Centerofweirdness’. The computer spat out the file explorer for the disk she just put in.

“It looks like a bunch of like enchantments and stuff.” Dash observed, Janet didn’t see anything that was actually porn. “Click that one.” He said, pointing to one just labeled ‘New Folder (15)’ Janet did, and it took them to a folder with another folder on the inside ‘New Folder (16)’. It took them through about five different folders, a folder named ‘porn’ (which contained nothing but another folder) “He’s sending us on a wild goose chase!” Dash complained, as Janet continued clicking through, before giving up as well.

She closed the file explorer to show Dash Marshalls’ website. The page with black, with a couple of Bermuda triangle graphics and plain white text.

“What does he post?”

“Mostly the same things he posts on the company website.” She said, clicking through a link. “People send him weird stuff.”

“He didn’t tell us about any of this stuff.” Janet looked up.

“He didn’t tell me, either.”

“You found it out yourself?”

“By accident.”

“So why didn’t he tell anyone?”

“Well he’s been posting there since college; it was how we reconnected.”

“I thought you guys met at the Uni Bar.”

“We did. After I emailed him from a library computer promising to bring him some weird stuff.” She said.

“What weird stuff did you bring?”

“Nothing.” Dash looked at her for a moment, before shaking his head and looking away. The computer let out a high pitched ‘fwp’ noise out of nowhere, causing both Janet and Dash to startle. An instant messenger window popped up onto the screen. An account simply entitled ‘1’ had sent a message.

_1: You’re not Marshall._

Janet looked at Dash, who shrugged. That was pretty weird, but then again, they were on a computer in Eerie Indiana.

_Mars: no im his girlfriend_

_1: Who is that with you?_

_Mars: A friend_

That was so weird, weirder than usual. Surely whoever this was couldn’t see them through the screen, could it? She was at least forty percent sure. She looked at Dash, who was looking at her.

“Is this…Normal?”

“No. It’s not.” Another ‘fwp’ from the screen.

_1: Why are you here?_

_Mars: because marshall needs help_

_1: You thought you’d find it on here?_

_Mars: who are you_

“If this is a joke, it isn’t very funny.” Janet said out loud, picking up one of the squishy things from Marshalls shelf. Like a stress ball, but if you squeezed it to hard it started bleeding.

_1: You turned me on._

_Mars: ?_

_1: My disk. You turned me on._

_Mars: oh_

_1: What happened to Marshall?_

_Mars: hes glued to the television_

_1: Why?_

_Mars: we dont know._

_1: Are you Janet Donner?_

_Mars: yes_

_1: Goodbye._

The computer shut down. Janet sat back in her seat, and ran a hand through her hair. After a moment, the computer spat out the disk. She put it away with the others, and looked at Dash, who looked as confused as she felt.

“What?”

“Here, in this book. There’s an entry written just before bed. ‘Tonight, J.’ – That’s you- ‘And I are going to be watching television, I need to check my P.O box tomorrow.”

“So?” Unrelated, but Marshall has  P.O box? Why would he need one of those?

“I don’t think Marshall knew anything about this when he sat down. I think this blindsided him.”

“It’s a good theory.” Janet said, finally. She checked her watch (She was wearing three) and then looked at Dash. “I’m going to make some lunch. What do you like on your sandwhiches?”

“What are you offering?” He asked, as Janet turned off the computer.

“We have cold cuts, leftover Swedish meatloaf, cheese…The usual stuff.” Dash looks thoughtful, “I’ll take the leftovers, with cheese if you could.”

“Sure.” She said, tucking the key into her pocket. She wandered back into the kitchen, where Simon was still reading.

 

“Anything?” He asked, looking up. Dash shook his head no, and hopped up on the bench next to him. Janet went to the fridge, and started pulling out ingredients. She wanted to be more help, but plainly, she was out of her depth. After high school, she was convinced she’d never have anything to do with weirdness again. She opened the breadbag (Multigrain) and tossed eight slices of bread onto the counter.

“The usual, Simon?” She asked, taking the meatloaf and cold cuts out of the fridge.

“Yes, please!” Simon said, cheerfully. Janet grabbed other bits and pieces out of the fridge and dumped them onto the counter top. She opened the margarine and stabbed her knife into it.

“Found anything?” Dash asked.

“Not really, but it wouldn’t be the first time Eerie and technology haven’t mixed.” Simon pointed out, closing his book and letting out a little sigh. Dash nodded sullenly, and looked down at the grey laminate countertop.

“Marshall would know what to do.” Janet said, softly, as she cut Simon’s ham and cheese sandwhich, with a bit of sauerkraut into triangles. Dash looked put off by the combination, and even more when she cut the crusts off for him. Janet has been making sandwhiches for Simon and Harley on and off since she was thirteen and didn’t see any reason to change now.

“Well Marshall isn’t here right now.” Dash replied, as Janet started cutting pieces of Swedish Meatloaf.

“I know.” She said, picking up a Kraft Single. “I know.” They sat in silence while she finished making food. She took Marshall’s plate to the living room, wondering if he would eat it.

As she entered the space, and looked at him, she dropped the plate onto the ground, and let out a deafening scream.

Behind her, she was dimly aware of the fact that two sets of feet were running into the living space.

“Oh, God.” Dash said, as Simon grabbed her arm.

Marshall was melting, literally. Right in front of their eyes, he was turning into a ooey gooey mess.  Janet is made aware of the fact that she is still screaming. Marshall didn’t even reply, just started sliding off of the couch. His melted, slimy body was dragging itself along the carpet towards the television.

Janet is dimly aware of the fact that she can’t quite breathe. She looked into the television and saw something familiar that she couldn’t identify. Simon was trying to take a hold of Marshall as he slithered out of his clothes, only to have him slide through his fingers like silt. Dash is panicking, trying to turn off the television, and unplugging it.

Marshall slowly started to crawl up their rickety television stand. Janet, in a fit of inspiration, grabbed a walkie talkie off of the table and jammed it into his fleshy goo as he started going through the television screen. Dash has turned a weird colour, and Simon looks like he might be sick. As they stood in the empty living room, looking at the space where Marshall had been sitting.

“What just happened?” She asked, finally. Simon looked up.

“It looks like he went through a portal.”

“A what?” Janet asked, putting one of her hands on the screen of the television.

“A portal.” Dash said, in a clipped tone.

“Can we get him back?”

“Not through here we can’t.” he said, sitting back on his heels. Janet, not sure what to do, began gathering up Marshall’s clothes off the floor and couch.

“You put a walkie talkie in him.” Dash says, “Why?”

“Because I thought we might be able to hear him.” She said, as she folded up a flannel shirt. “That sounds really stupid.” She whispered, feeling numb with shock. Behind her, the television has gone to the rainbow bars.

“Maybe not.” Dash said, sprinting to the kitchen and picking up the matching radio and putting it up to his ear. It was one of the expensive ones with a GPS tracker thing in it so if you got lost they could find you again. He handed it to Simon.

“I can hear something.” He said passing it to Janet, who pressed her ear up against it. Was that…

“I know that voice!” She said, suddenly. “That’s Tony H, he was selling….” She stopped,  “Actually, I think he was selling everything on that station.” They all looked at each other.

“Where was he broadcasting from?”  Simon shrugged.

“Everything local comes from WERD TV tower.” She said, thinking about where they sent their commercials for Eerieland. “But he could be sending it to WERD from anywhere.” She said, picking up the remote and flicking through channels. They were all empty

“Simon get your coat, we’re taking a fieldtrip,” Dash said, stuffing the walkie talkie into his coat pocket.

…

The WERD TV building was pretty close to the middle of town, and pretty tall too. The rain was pouring down on the roof of Dash’s car as he sped down the road as fast as he thought he could get away with and you know, not spin out.

“Do you have any idea what the Hell might be in there?” She asked Simon, who was playing with his phone and chewing his bottom lip.

“According to my contacts, this is happening to everyone, but no. I don’t know.” He sighed. Dash’s tires squealed as he came to a stop out the front of the building. Janet sighed slightly and looked out the rain splattered window. She felt..Well. She didn’t really know how she felt. Scared? Yes. Upset? Obviously. But something else was mixed in there that she didn’t know. She’s afraid that she’ll never see Marshall again, for one. What would she even do, if that happened? She’s never considered a future for herself without Marshall in it.

They got out of the car, and walked into the building, out of the rain. Melaine Monroe was sitting at a desk in the middle of the room. Janet did her best to ignore the almost impressively out of date décor that filled her with moderate unease.

“Mel! You work at WERD?”

“Yeah!” She said, “Wally says I’m a shooin’ to be the next weatherwoman.”

“Have you noticed anything…Weird, lately?”

“Well…” She looked over her shoulder, “There’s been a lot of screaming in the back room lately, more than usual.”

“And you just. Let it?”

“’S none of my business.”

“You’re buying into it, Mel!” Janet exclaimed.

“Marshall doesn’t have time for this!” Simon exclaimed, “Can you tell us anything? Or let us back there?”

“There was some work done on the tower earlier this week.” Melaine said, “But that’s it.” She hesitated, “I probably shouldn’t…”

“Please, his life depends on it.” She sighed and nodded.

“Go.” She tossed Simon the key to the back door.

Janet frowned.

“What do you want to bet that the work on the tower has something to do with this?” She asked. Perhaps that was a little convenient, but this was Eerie, and sometimes things like this just need to be taken in stride. God knows she’s learned that lesson fast.

“Probably.” Simon agreed. “Janet you go look.”

“Why me? Dash is the one most likely to survive a fall from a tower.”

“Dash is too short to reach the ladder handles” Dash said, referring to himself in the third person.  “Last time we had to climb WERD tower Marshall had to do it.”

“Why did you have to climb WERD tower last time?” Janet asked, as she and Dash split off from Simon and ran towards the elevator.

“It’s a long story.” He said, as they entered the cube.

“We got time.” She said, hitting the top floor button. Above them, the elevator played the sort of elevator music you can only find in Eerie.  

“You remember Valentines day of ’96?”

“Not really.”

“Yeah, because that entire day didn’t happen.”

“What?”

“Well, someone experimenting with magic fucked up so badly, that the only way we could preserve the universe was to get rid of that day.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

She looked back at the gauge telling them what floor they were on. It felt weirdly calm in here, almost normal. She looked down at her clasped hands. She was wearing a plastic ring on her thumb that Marshall won her at an arcade a few months ago. She knew that there are probably hundreds of millions of Janet Donners out there in the universe, but even knowing that, she can’t fathom any Janet Donner without Marshall Teller.

“He’ll be fine.” Dash said, hesitantly. “He lives to be at least a hundred and five.” Janet doesn’t have the energy left to question it.

“Thanks.” She said, as the doors finally opened up and they could begin the trek to the roof.

“So…I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing one of us is going to have to climb W.E.R.D tower.” Janet said, already taking off her coat and dropping it on the floor inside of the little shelter on the roof.

“That is normally how these stories play out, yes.”

“What exactly am I looking for?” She asked, having to yell above the pounding rain as she made her way across the roof.

“Anything out of place.” Dash said, as they came to a stop in front of the giant tower. Janet sighed, and looked at him.

“If I don’t make it down, I just want you to know, I think you’re okay. Marshall’s still a little in love with you.”

“What?”

“Give me a boost, would you?” Janet said, making a conscious choice not to think about what she just admitted to Dash. She might not be able to make it up the tower if she did. Dash gave her a lift so she could get her feet into the bottom rung.

She began the uphill battle. The rain was beating down from above, pushing her fringe into her eyes, and when she managed to brush it aside, it continued to sting her bare corneas. The metal was slick under her fingers, and her fingers were cold as ice. It would be hard for her to do this on a normal day, let along with the rain beating down on her. But she loves Marshall, damn him. Every time her eyes glance across the shitty plastic ring with sharp sides she’d had to file down, she thought about a good moment.

Quiet nights where they didn’t have anything to do other than watch movies and laugh.

Another rung.

Going to EerieLand with her employee discount and the picture she still has of them laughing their way through Monster Mountain.

Another rung.

The first time he said he loved her, when they were in his bed together at his parents house, after a mad dash inside from acid rain that stained her hair green for a month.

Another rung.

The first time she said it back, in the back of the cinema and all she was doing was getting up to go buy more popcorn in the intermission of Gone with the Wind, during it’s midnight screening.

Another rung.

It’s the hardest thing she’s ever done, every rung is a struggle. She’s lost her footing twice, and had to pull herself up with nothing more then her arm strength. For all of Dash’s alien biology, she was pretty sure he couldn’t bring her back to life if she fell and died.

But eventually, she reaches the top. To her relief, there is a bit of a platform there for her to stand on. At first, all she could do was collapse on the rain soaked wood and look up at the sky as a bolt of lighting snaked through the stars. It was kind of beautiful, actually. She rolled over onto her stomach and peered over the edge. Dash is down below, giving her a thumbs up, maybe. She can’t tell, she’s too far away.

She turned back around and tugged herself up onto her hands and knees, not willing to get too far away from the board that dictated her life of death. She crawled along the board, she found that her breath was coming in weirdly, but ignored it. Her ears hurt from being so high up, but she ignored that, too. She passed a single piece of graffiti, which reads ‘Marshall Was Here’. She reached out with one shaking hand to glance her fingertips across it. But she doesn’t stop long. She has to keep going, and she does her best not to think about how the Hell she’s going to get down from here.

After doing a circuit of the top, she sees nothing. She glances over the edge again. Dash is examining the base of the tower. Janet manages to stumble to her feet, legs shaking furiously. She’s never been scared of heights before, but now she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to go on a rollercoaster again. Using her hands to hold onto the tower available to her, she begins her second lap. Then, she saw it. A metal thing, maybe the size of the shoebox that was very shiny and very out of place compared to the rest of the old, dirty metal of W.E.R.D tower.

She can’t see it properly, because she has to look up at it, and the rain is in her eyes, but this is it. It has to be it. She reached up with one hand to touch the box, but it’s not enough. How can it be enough? Reluctantly, she released her hold on the mesh of the tower and reached up with both hands to the box. The things comes lose into her hands, and she turned right away and threw it off the top of the tower. She watched it fall for as long as she could, and the thing broke into hundreds of pieces on the pavement. Watching this, she turned, and went back onto her knees. She crawled back around to the ladder, and slowly inched her legs off of the edge.

She turned as she went down, finding her footing on the ladder. She slowly made her way down, one rung at a time, until her arms were shaking with exhaustion, and the only thing on her mind is curling up on the sofa next to Marshall and falling asleep while they watch old monster movies. Or sleeping in bed, tucked up right against his chest, where she can keep track of his heartbeat. In a nice warm shower, counting the tiny scars on his chest from adventures she wasn’t involved in.

Yeah.

Another few rungs go by, she’s reached halfway. She stopped to take a couple of breaths, before she decided to plow through to the ground as fast as she could.

Dash helped her off the ladder, and her knees gave out as soon as he put her on the ground. She didn’t realize she was crying until she landed. Every muscles was aching, she was soaked to the marrow and shivering. She sobbed hard enough to hurt her rib cage as she knelt in the rain. It was like all the fear was coming back to her now she was safe. In an out of character gesture, Dash knelt next to her, and hesitantly tugged her into his arms. He was just as wet and cold as she was, but to his credit, it did make her feel a little better. They waited until she got her wits about her again, before standing.

Dash grabbed a bunch of bits of stuff from the shattered box, and they made their way back into the building slowly. Janet just felt like death warmed up, but she’d done it. Pride was there too, but it was deep down under her fear and her sadness. They made their way down the stairs, since it seemed like the elevator was no longer working, and when they heard a scream they started running.

The two of them burst into the back room, and Janet almost fell over again. Within the back room of W.E.R.D television, a television screen was letting gooey people fall into what looked like a giant blender.

“What the fuck?” Janet whispered, at the exact same time Dash whispered

“A tachylon portal.” This was crazy, this whole thing was crazy. She’d always thought that now they were adults, the weirdness of Eerie would start to get smaller, and she’d understand how people in this town could just get used to it, buy into it. Accept it. But when a giant blender was threatening her boyfriend, she had to wonder if Eerie was normal, and she was just out of her mind.

Simon was hidden behind a big box at the back of the room, panting and clutching some kind of control pad in his hands. Janet and Dash made a mad dash over to him, and Janet can’t quite smother her sisterly urge enough to not pull Simon close to her, not that he seems to mind.

“What happened?” Dash demanded.

“People have stopped coming in through the portal.” Simon said.

“Must have been the box I smashed.” Janet said, looking up at Dash, who offered a piece to Simon who just shrugged. He tucked it away.

“What do we do?” Janet asked, despite the bone deep ache inside her. This wasn’t over yet.

“I think we have to tip that bowl over.” Simon said, looking up over the thing they were crouched behind.

“Who’s in charge of this?”

“Me.”

Dash gave a very undignified scream at being startled. Janet only tightened her arms around Simon in reply. She knew that voice. Tony Hemmingway.

“Tony. Did selling slice and dices stop paying the rent?” She asked, standing, and taken quite suddenly by rage.

“You must be the ones who broke my portal.”

“You picked a cliché spot to put your whatever that was.” She said, feeling Simon slip out of her arms as she stood up to face him. He looked a little like Marshall, but Marshall if he sold drugs to school children.

“So you broke it?”

“Uh, duh?”

“Why?” Dash looked at her, she looked back.

“Because you turned my boyfriend into goo, you stupid fuck.” Janet replied. She just climbed up to the top of W.E.R.D tower, compared to that, Tony Hemingway was a baby. Dash takes advantage of the situation and tries to throw a punch, but his fist gets caught in him, and his arm begins to be sucked inside him.  He was screaming at the top of his lungs as Janet scrambled to take hold of his chest and pull him out.

“Good luck with that!” Tony laughed, the gooey flesh continuing to pull Dash in Janet put all her weight behind trying to free him, but it seemed to be for nought. “This is exactly what I want.”

“To suck people into your gaping chest wound?”

“To become the biggest, most powerful being in all of Indiana.” Dash was in up to his shoulder by now, and Janet only just managed to stop her hand getting sucked in as well. “It’s my divine purpose.”

“To ruin lives, you maniac?” Janet screamed, very near crying again as she pulled will all her weight, her wet sneakers sliding on the concrete floor.

“Look out below!” Janet and Dash looked up, as the giant bowl started to topple over. Dash’s arm is suddenly released, and both of them leap to the side just in time. Tony is squished under the giant tub. Skin coloured ooze leaks out over the floor, and slowly begins to reassemble itself into people. Janet and Dash are lying on the floor together, having survived their encounter. They looked up, and she saw Simon waving from the scaffolding surrounding the portal (which seemed to be broken) and the giant mixer.

They both stood, dusting off the worst of the grime sticking to their wet skin and hair. It felt gritty and disgusting. But they’re alive, all limbs attached.

“Janey?” She looked up, at Marshall, naked, emerging from the very confused crowd. She couldn’t stop herself throwing her body at him, wrapping him tight in a hug. He’s alive, this was all for something, they did it. Realizing his nudity, she let him go, and  took off her mostly dry jacket and thrust it into his hands.

“Cover your shame before you scare poor Simon for life.” She said, and after he tied the denim around his waist did the only thing she could think to do, and threw herself into his arms. Only for a moment.

“We should get out of here.” Simon said, returning to the group. Janet, after a moment, hugged him too.

“Yeah, before Slick gets arrested for public indecency.” Dash said, as Janet released the kid.

“Marshall, you won’t believe who works here.” Janet said, as they walked out the door. “Mel! Did you know?”

“No she doesn’t. She worked at that car dealership in town.” Simon said, as they rounded the corner.

The front desk was empty.

“Guess she went home.” Dash said, finally. Too tired and probably full of untrustworthy memories, Janet decided to let it drop, and she’d forgotten all about it by the time they got to the car, where she was able to scavenge a couple of beach towels for Marshall from Dash’s trunk. She has no idea what was discussed on the way home, she was too busy trying not to fall asleep.

...

Upon arriving back at the apartment building, everyone realized they still had things to do. Clean up the lunch mess and vaccum the carpet where she had dropped Marshalls plate for a start. Then,  Janet took the extension into the closet to check in on Melaine. She was fine, and was in the middle of a movie night, following that with a call to her parents, like she did every night. They were also fine, the house was fine,  they wanted to know if she and Marshall would come over for dinner next week. Some things don’t change.

Simon called all of his sources to see what happened.

Marshall took a shower and put some clothes on.

Dash took it upon himself to order some pizzas.

Which was how they ended up, Janet, Dash and Marshall all freshly showered and dressed, Dash burrowing a pair of Janet’s sweatpants and oversized Giants shirt that belonged to Marshall.  He hadn’t noticed that they had J.U.I.C.Y written across the ass, and she wasn’t about to tell him. (Not that she could afford J.U.I.C.Y pants, they’d been a gift from Marylin because they were ‘in’ or something.)

Janet had tucked herself up against Marshall’s side, warm and comfortable. He smelt like shaving cream, shower gel and what might be detergent. He slung an arm around her to keep her close.  The hot, greasy pizzas sat on the table, steaming happily. Simon was convinced that the pizza place Dash had ordered from was hiding a demonic entity, but they had a coupon, so Eerie Pizza it was. Plain cheese, meatlovers and vegetarian for Janet, despite his moaning that it ‘wasn’t right.’  

Simon was seated comfortably on the ground, having already called Harley to say he was going to stay the night, and Dash…Didn’t have anyone to call outside of Marshall. Dash turned on the television to put on a VHS copy of The Goonies, when he paused.

“What?” Simon asked, frowning.

“Uh.”

Tony Hemingway was smushed up against the screen, boneless and disgusting, as well as destined to be one of those things that people knew but never talked about. Tragic.

“Guys, I don’t mean to cause a stir, but uh. I don’t really feel like watching television.” Marshall said, after several moments.

“Yeah, me neither.” Janet said.

“To be honest, me either.” Dash said, mouthful of pizza.

“What about monopoly?” Simon asked, ever the optimist and ever hopeful. Janet looked at Marshall, who shrugged.

“Sure.” She said, grabbing a piece of pizza, “Help me get it out of purgatory.” She said, purgatory being the cupboard in the hall that may or may not lead right to Hell. Or Narnia. It was a weird cupboard, but in Eerie, it can sometimes be adapt or die.

…

It was at this point in my life I realized that adults might have had a point. I know it’s a cliché, and I do think television is great. In small doses. But in Eerie, it might be a little more than your brain that gets turned to mush.  


End file.
